Monday, August 12, 2013

Phoenix Jones Gets Cracked Reporting

This is the photo of Phoenix Jones by Lucien Knuteson that swiped from my blog and used on their site without asking permission or giving attribution. 

Internet reporting is so shoddy these days that I wouldn't be surprised to see a article titled "5 Writers Who Actually Spent More Than Ten Minutes Checking Over Their Work."

Apparently we have to give a free pass to people like "because it's satire!" as everyone exclaims. Still, I feel I have to speak out about the scenario Cracked suggests in their Triumph the Insult Comic Dog style report, "The 5 Most Spectacularly Failed Attempts at Superheroism."

RE: Point number 4: "A Superhero Maces a Bunch of Dancers." Other than a few nouns, this relaying of the "pepper spray incident," as it is commonly known, is a complete falsehood.

I should know-- I was there.

I was trailing Phoenix Jones in Seattle to get material for my upcoming book, Heroes in the Night, in October 2011 when we stumbled across a street fight. I don't feel iffy on this-- one guy was kicking another guy laying in the street in the head, one dude was punching another dude, there was angry screaming and shoving. After Phoenix Jones broke the group up, one person deliberately hit another person in the arm with their car.

If that was a dance, as this writer adamantly suggests, it was one hell of an electric boogaloo. So where does this report from Funkytown come from?

Well, when the police showed up and asked the group what had happened, they decided that saying they were "dancing" instead of saying they were "beating the shit out of each other in a street fight" sounded better. The police, who were none too thrilled with Phoenix Jones, decided to take their word for it, ignore what Jones had to say, and added the frolicking alibi to their report.

Toward the end of the short Phoenix Jones segment of the article, the incorrect reporting accelerates-- no, Phoenix Jones was not arrested and unmasked on live television. No, Department of Social Services did not ban him from ever working with children ever again. I think presenting that last sentence as fact is actually libel, but I don't know, I'm no lawyer.

Am I defending the actions of Jones that night? No. It is what it is and you can read my detailed account of that evening in a Heroes in the Night chapter titled "People Fighting and Pepper Spray and Superheroes and...I Don't Know."

But if there's anything I hate more than getting punched in the face by a pepper spray soaked Russian (it happened)-- it's lazy fact checking.
Book available OCTOBER 1, 2013!


  1. Your integrity is appreciated!

  2. The issue I have with this is: If I was in a fight with someone, and some guy just walked up and decided that he was not ok with us fighting and tried to break it up, I'd be pissed!
    It's one thing to stop an attack. But fights are going to happen, they are in our nature. Pheonix Jones himself practices MMA, so he of all people should know not to interfere with the most ancient and natural method of settling disagreements. Hopefully he will learn from this bad publicity to only target crimes that have victims.

    1. If you were getting your rear end handed to you and/or didn't want to be fighting? You might not mind somebody breaking it up so much. What you say is how a bully thinks - a bully doesn't want anyone to stop them from using violence against people.

      And "most ancient and natural method"? Fallacious - cooperation is just as natural and arguably as ancient. And that hardly matters - something be old or natural doesn't make it better.

      Again, what you've said justifies bullying and unnecessary violence.

  3. I heard there are a few puppies that need maceing on the east side. And maybe a few kittens that need an old school blackjacking.

    1. You are so funny, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha.

  4. Keep it up Tea!
    We all thank you for your support!

    Crimson Canuck

  5. Good to see someone was there and was able to tell the story of what happened. Cool.

  6. Public Fighting is legal in Washington state if both parties are consenting. To physically intervene without consent of the fighters is technically assault. of course that would never stick... but if the person intervening was dressed as a superhero and wearing protective gear, employing an aerosol weapon...
    You can expect at least alot of paperwork.