Wednesday, March 23, 2011



Rainn Wilson made an appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, there to promote his new film, Super, which looks to be the most unflattering take on superheroes this decade. However Wilson spent much of the conversation talking about the famous Phoenix Jones:

Wilson says Jones has "taken 197 crackpipes away from people."
What's up with all this crack smoking in Seattle?
If I was walking through a parking lot and saw Rainn Wilson tazing Phoenix Jones, I might nominate it for one of the strangest things I've seen.


  1. Wow. That laundry list of things Phoenix Jones has 'done' is just ridiculous. I love that there's no proof to back up these claims, either.

    I mean, I'm out of the supervillain business, but fuck if this shit doesn't track me down when I'm trying to wind down for the night on Jimmy fucking Kimmel. It's like, come on, universe; this isn't even remotely fair.

  2. Hahaha... this reminds me of what Rainn said right after his interview with PJ... Something about "I'd like to see what this guy would do if you dropped him in Bushwick, Brooklyn."

    I'd like to see that as well.


  3. I love how this idiot is going to LA and attending film premiers in full costume and scoring lunches with film stars (in full costume) but there's absolutely no record of him having done anything here is Seattle. None! Nada! Ziltch! We've been looking!

    The only records have been while he's escorting film crews through well-lit city corridors (because Seattle's Belltown and Pioneer Square-- where the downtown crime *actually* happens-- look kind of pokey and unimpressive) and him telling news crews what he's done.

    Phoenix Jones' publicist is the only one doing the heavy lifting here, while PJ parades around in a suspiciously hollywood-grade rubber suit. They're both lying sleezeballs.

  4. Why is he confiscating crack pipes?

    So I guess he is going after drug addicts and common drug users?

    Now he is targeting people with addiction problems, bullying them and essentially robbing them of their drugs and drug paraphernalia.

    All he's doing is bullying people with addiction problems and actually creating more crime. When these people need to get their next fix and they have no more money, what are they going to do.
    They will, rob, steal, and sell themselves.

    Real great crime-fighting.

    Anyone see how terribly wrong this is?

  5. I want my 197 crack pipes back.

  6. I really need to put my cup of coffee down before I read Mega-Rad's comments. Or at least swallow.

  7. Motor-mouth here. So yea, what can I say to this?

    Honestly, I don't know. I really don't. Me, the Energizer Bunny of talking and I'm basically speechless over this.

    No wait, here we go & I've got a list...

    1. What the *@$% is PJ doing at film premiers?! Although they're fictional characters, Batman & Superman don't do film premiers...EVER. (although Booster Gold would...maybe PJ is our RLSH counterpart for Booster Gold...)

    2. "Go on ahead, tazer me"...what kind of Tothian dribble is that? It's like someone cloned Tothian, gave him the reverse Micheal Jackson skin treatment, & put him on the opposite coast.

    3. Jimmy Kimmell calling us all crazy people. Well, I resent that...and so do all the other masked crazies out there.

    4. As some of you may or may not know, I gave PJ & a few of his people trial memberships into the Pacific Protectorate, the organization I co-head here on the Left Coast. After this little clip here (and other things, of course), I'm rethinking over that whole trial period.

    I think my motor's run it's course for this post. 'Nuff said.

  8. Motor-Mouth, granted I do see the humor in that 3rd comment, but unless we're friends, it's not cool if you mention my name, and I'll show you that same respect. Thanks.

  9. If memory serves, White Skull owns the trademark on the name "Tothian", so if anyone has a right to limit usage, it's him.

    In fact, I think it's your silly "No one can say my name unless I give them permission" comments that inspired him to trademark-squat your name in the first place.

  10. Tothian, I'm going to say this once: I want you gone. Completely. Go get some help. I'm not going to ask again. Disappear.


  11. Trademark squatting is fun. It expires in four years though, so you might want to mark your calendar if you want to register it before I renew it.

  12. Hey Beryllium, why do y need to spam everything? PJ has actually stopped crime, go on youtube and search "phoenix jones makes citizens arrest" I'm not going to do it for you. And then tell me that that was staged...Yeah right.
    It's pathetic how you don't have any facts to back up your trolling. Douche.

  13. That youtube video is questionable at best.