Beware of this area code
It was a dark and stormy night and strange game was afoot on the Creature Feature show yesterday.
I called in and joined host Krampus, along with guests Mixsae, Mr. Jingles, RLSH Minuteman, information guru Metadata, and the mysterious detective Wolf. Krampus opened by mentioning villain in need Sword Kane’s request for help on his MySpace.
There were other “guests,” too, phoning in from the 856 area code of New Jersey.
The first to phone in was “Mandarth.”
“I AM SUPER PISSED OFF AT PEOPLE TRYING TO BE SUPERHEROES. IT MAKES ME MAD.” Mandarth announced, in a voice I can best describe as Sam the Eagle impersonating Sylvester Stallone.
"I KNOW THEIR SECRET IDENTITIES AND IN EXACTLY 24 HOURS, STARTING NOW, THEY WILL ALL DIE. TO DEATH." Mandarth revealed, and then continued to give the death clock countdown. As of this writing, 24 hours later, no RLSH have been reported dead.
If this all sounds threatening, Mandarth also revealed that he has a…feminine side. When asked if he knew supervillain prankster/ two time YouTube video producer Nemesis, he replied:
“HE IS MY THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED FROM MY VAGINA…I HAVE TWO SEXUAL ORGANS ATTACHED TO ME.”
Krampus has since stated that he has reported this incident to authorities.
I myself don’t usually view someone as a threat unless they are standing in front of me wielding baseball bats or a giant kitchen knife (yes, both of these have happened to me, and yes, plural on bats).
I will accept the argument that threats of violence shouldn’t be ignored, but I’ve got a pretty solid hunch, like 99.9 percent, that Mandarth is a bored New Jersey teen engaging in some Bart Simpson style pranking.
There have been a number of short lived supervillains who have appeared to mock heroes and then disappear from the RLSH scene. These one (or two) hit villain wonders include the previously mentioned Nemesis, the gravelly voiced, invisible man looking Dark Horizon, and self proclaimed Shadow Hare enemy High Noon Tortoise.
To back this theory up, a second caller (from 856 area code) made repeated calls asking if she could order pizza, saying her name was (expletive), and that she was Ass-Bad’s psychic.
Ah yeah, Ass-Bad.
Ass-Bad says he is “not inspired by Kick-Ass at all,” that he is “15” years old, and also is from the 856 area code.
Here is Ass-Bad’s…uh…incredible story.
1. His dad, now deceased, was an ex-marine who trained him.
2. He was on a “daily patrol” when he saw a kid, about 11 he guesses, dressed up as the Red Mist character from Kick-Ass, being beat up by two males.
3. After intervening, he suffered “a few bruised ribs, one broken, a sprained arm, and two black eyes.”
4. Despite these injuries, he and the kid dressed as Red Mist did not file a police report. Ass-Bad says he was taken to the Emergency Room, where police were not present for unknown reasons.
5. Ass-Bad is now being threatened by unknown assailants on the internet.
6. Despite a lack of tangible evidence, the story was apparently a hot topic with the “cast” of Kick-Ass. Or atleast on two MySpace pages claiming to belong to Christopher Mintz (Red Mist) and Chloe Moretz (Hit Girl).
“Christopher Mintz” status update: Damn just found out that a RLSH called ASS-BAd got beat down bad buy[sic] a gang member
“Chloe Moretz” status update: Thank you Ass-Bad what you did yesterday shows that ur [sic]a great hero and thanks to the other RLSH for all that they do
Both pages were set up shortly after the premiere of Kick-Ass.
So there you go. I guess you can believe Ass-Bad lived out a page from a comic book or you can believe this is bored teenager attention seeking asshattery.
There was yet another WTF moment when villain Malvado SV called in at the very end of the show with some cryptic, British accented comments. I wrote about both Krampus and Malvado SV and their radio shows HERE.
Despite all of the…amusing call ins, I did get a chance to talk to the Creature Feature crew about a variety of RLSH related topics, including DC Guardian's charity work and the recent RLSH panel at an Orlando comic con.
Thank you for your hospitality, Krampus and guests, it was great to talk to all of you!
I knew that some stupid kid was going to pull some crap like that, give us a bad name. I do not condone those actions or words of violence in any kind of fashion by anyone. I do not condone violence or threats of violence even from an attention seeking child. It is just unacceptable. This is sad and pathetic that some kid like that would be so stupid. I hope he or they get what they deserve.
ReplyDeleteI thought the first half hour of the show was excellent! Awesome scripted material, done in an entertaining format.
ReplyDeletePersonally I would love to have been on the line talking to Cookie Monster.
Then followed up by Ass-Bad.. wait I believe I saw this same routine done a few weeks ago by Hero Profile #20 on the RLSH.org site.
What a fun and exciting group of people to interact with.
I'm glad that you enjoyed the show Tea, please feel free to call in again anytime. As far as anything scripted, I assure you none of this involving Ass-bad, Mandarth, his psychic or whatever the idiot's name was calling in at the end was staged on the part of Krampus or my callers/friends. I have been asked why I allowed Ass-Bad to speak so much, and the answer was simple: to test credibility. I will be writing a blog about the show this week in regards to the best examples of how NOT to be an RLSH or RLSV. Please feel free to read it this week, as well as to listen to the show Saturday nights at 11 PM EDT.
ReplyDeletePoop Knife:
ReplyDelete"Then followed up by Ass-Bad.. wait I believe I saw this same routine done a few weeks ago by Hero Profile #20 on the RLSH.org site."
Are you referencing the undercover work I did as "The Knight"?
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ReplyDeleteI wish I could spell at this hour.
ReplyDeleteWhat I meant to say, Poop Knife, you should probably get to know people better before you just make assumptions about people's characters, as the type of people Ass-Bad and Anonyman are are rather different. Study up next time before you just make wanton accusations.
That's not Poop Knife...its the Lavendar Leopard
ReplyDeleteOh a double header Mr. Jack And Crossfire!
ReplyDeleteMr. Jack, You wish you could spell and I wish you could read. We have so much in common.
Crossfire, better be careful. I would hate for you to sully your reputation.
Just noting the similarities in the chesy radio voices there Mr. Leopard...I've done character voices for enough years to recognize the subtle nuances of people speaking and identify the person behind the voice...you will need to provide hard evidence otherwise to prove me wrong.
ReplyDeleteNow why would anyone be surprised about Poop Knife making snide comments about people and jumping to conclusions. I'm sure he does that all the time sitting around the bonfire with his fellow white-robed friends.
ReplyDeleteLeave it to underage little punks from Philly and the resident obnoxious bloggers that call themselves RLSV to try cause problems...as usual. Crossfire, I would not be surprised if you were right. And really Poop Knife, that sounds like a threat against Crossfire. Are you really that frustrated that so few people give a damn about what you spout off about in your rabblerousing blogs that you have to up the ante by making veiled threats against a preacher? I know it's hard for you but try not to be such an ass sometimes.
Although I can't speculate exactly what Poop Knife means, I think he might be saying that Anonyman created a bogus account at RLSH.org, The Knight, yeah? That account was an over-the-top Kick-Ass wannabe looking for places to get weapons. Anonyman wanted to see how forum members reacted to a potential RLSH like this.
ReplyDeleteAss-Bad also seems like he was also created like this. I think the difference is- I could be very wrong- is that Anonyman's fake profile was as a test to gauge other people. Ass-Bad, in my opinion, is just a juvenile hoax.
Kind of like one time in middle school when me and my friends tried to convince another one of our friends we had seen Bigfoot. You know, for laughs.
Urban Dictionary says a poop knife is for cutting up large cement-like turds so that They'll flush easier.
ReplyDeleteI believe everything I read.
Umm, jingles, that is not a philadelphia area code, Philadelphia is in PA, not New Jersey, As you can see from the map at the top, 856 is right on the border of New Jersey and PA. Maybe you should pay attention, its obvious that is not a threat against Crossfire, he is stating that Crossfire has a good reputation as a whole, and he is especially respected in the RLSV community, and why risk soiling that by making accusations against others? We as a whole stand behind him in the RLSV community. Not that he or you care what we have to say, but unlike others he is still respectful to even those that had spoken bad against him.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct Virus. What RLSVs or obnoxious bloggers say don't rate very high on the "do I give a damn meter" when it comes to adjudicating right or wrong. I know Crossfire a bit better than you think and I'll leave it at that. Suffice to say Crossfire is not a child and he doesn't need to take advice from someone like Poop Knife.
ReplyDeleteI can read, Poop Knife, and I expect better critiquing from your community than what I have seen from you. Personal attacks do not really do anything for me, neither does attacking my "reputation."
ReplyDeleteJust try and add something productive instead of just trying to be witty and demeaning, would you?
And that would be the problems with expectations.. they are seldom lived up to.
ReplyDeleteIt truly amazes me on how much interpretation people put into the simplest sentence.
Like this one: "Crossfire, better be careful. I would hate for you to sully your reputation."
In the Mr. Jingles world this translated into a threat. It is a shame that Tea and Virus both had to come in to correctly translate very obvious statements made by me.
So Mr. Jack, do you carry a firearm on patrol? Do you patrol in a mask at night with custom weapons? If the answer to both of those questions is no then your reputation is secure.
I'm a pacifist. And I care not for my reputation. Despite what you may think, not all of us care about how others perceive the work we do. We know it is helpful, and we do it, even when everyone would tell us otherwise. Because it is right.
ReplyDeleteI merely offered some critiquing for the critic. Open your mind, you may be surprised by what you see.
Ah and there we go, why do you even care?
ReplyDeleteIf you have no reputation to be concerned with and do not care what others think of you or your brood what is exactly the point here?
You may have the basic ideas of right and wrong as do most people. But when you choose to enforce your own code of personal ethics on society in an unorthodox manner it becomes the business of said society to reel you in.
The point is that everyone deserves to have a voice. Everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone deserves to have freedom. I care about people much more than myself because it is the right and truthful thing to do. This isn't my own set of ethical conduct, it's the truth. We're all humans, and we all deserve the chance to fulfill our highest potential. I want that for everyone, even you.
ReplyDeleteBut when you come in and make blatant accusations about people's characters and have nothing but your opinion and clever lies to make it seem like truth, I am obliged to stop you because it is like you are attacking me. I'd do the same for you if it was you in the situation, as that is the point of what I do and why I live. Why anyone should live.
This isn't personal, it's universal. That's what a truth is. I want you to tap into that more, and make the ones in our community who need the ego check see their errors. You need to stop focusing on people like Anonyman, and focus more on people like Ass-Bad. They need your help more than most of the people you seek to lambaste.
You use a drill when gardening. It's effective, but ultimately destructive and builds nothing of what you desire to see. Use the drill to start, but then plant a seed. It not only firms the soil, but gets all sorts of new growth going.
Ultimately it is hard work gardening, but the point is that it pays off because it lasts longer. Build rather than destroy. That's all I ask.
Oh and btw not that I expect any questions I have asked to be acknowledged or even answered on the internet, but you never responded on my inquires to if you patrol with a fire arm or masked with custom weaponry?
ReplyDeleteI thought I did answer that. (??)
ReplyDeleteI said I am a pacifist. So, that would be a no on the whole destructive weapons thing. I do work with a mask, but we all do in ways. It is part of the gimmick; I am sure you understand that. If not, just ask. (^^)
Human rights is a debate that most likely will not be concluded until the entire human population expires. Isn't that a pleasant thought? :D
ReplyDeletePlease explain how I am focusing on Anonyman? I am pretty sure Tea summed that all up on his post? Oh wait I forgot where I was for a moment. Here I will break it down comic book style for you:
The Knight and Ass-bad where very similar to each other. Superman and Shazam are very similar to each other. Poop Knife and Lavender Leopards voices are very similar.
Pete: "Say have you read that new Superman comic?"
Ted: "No, I have seen that same routine before in Shazam."
Pete: "Poop Knife and the Lavender Leopard sound very similar on the radio."
Ted: "Yeah they are probably the same guy dicking with you!"
Pete: "How did you figure that out? They just sound similar?"
Ted: "I am the master of cartoon voices, a skill I acquired from my sensei SONY."
Pete: "Don't you think you should do research first and gather information before making a statement?"
Ted: "Nah I will just accuse Poop Knife and tell him he needs to prove me wrong with hard evidence."
Pete: "I don't think I like you anymore Ted."
Ted: "Well I have never liked you because of your poor taste in comics.. Superman really?"
Pete" "Oh screw you Ted, your the one that sold me your collection."
Ted: "Yeah because your a sucker and have crappy taste in comic books."
Ok got a little side tracked there.. apparently Pete and Ted have some issues to deal with.
I am overjoyed you do not carry firearms and weapons. That is great! Not that you don't count, because every little snow flake is special and unique.. but you are not really even a blip on the radar.
When the garden becomes neglected and overgrown with weeds there are only a few options. Either remove the weeds by hand saving the remainder. Or use roundup and destroy everything to start again.
Human rights is not a debate. It is pretty obvious what the answer is when you get rid of the other obstructions as to what the truth of it is. And that whole "when the crop fails, kill it and get a new one" mindset is the whole thing I am trying to help people overcome by the way.
ReplyDeletePeople should be better than just animals. This is not arrogance, merely a wish to see others fulfill potential.
Perhaps I am misjudging you and your intentions, but I thought that by comparing what Ass-Bad did to what Anonyman did was a dig at Anonyman's character. Excuse me if I was wrong.
What exactly were you trying to say? Because I do not know how else to say it?
And on snowflakes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHWRo5gzxl0
Same ends, different means. And that is what counts.
The mere thought of Poop Knife even implying that he is doing and saying what he does/says as a way of trying to somehow save the RLSH community thru some form of "cleansing" is utterly laughable. It's the same ridiculous line that most of the "obnoxious bloggers" that call themselves RLSV have been trying to pass off as what gives them validity. It's just an excuse to humiliate people for their sick entertainment. Just take a look at his obsession with Master Legend.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I tend to agree with you from experience and observation, I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. RLSV often give good insight into the community, and Tiny Terror and The White Skull were some of the best at it. People still quote them.
ReplyDeleteSo while I do know that a majority of the RLSV that I have encountered tend to ridicule and poke fun for pointless laughs when they could be actually doing something, I still am willing to listen to some of them that prove this otherwise. I have read Poop Knife's conversations with Anonyman, and they are fairly mature and well conducted. I will still read.
You give fair credit to White Skull and Tiny Terror. When it comes to speaking their mind they are very well versed in keeping things stern but fair. I still think you give Poop Knife too much credit - IMHO he makes a concerted attempt at masking his hatred and contempt of the majority of all that is RLSH but it's still there. And yes Mr. Jack, we are in agreement when it comes to the majority of the RLSV - alot of time spent on the internet wasting their time taking shots at people and glossing over their own glaring flaws then almost insisting that people treat them with credibility.
ReplyDeleteI got respect for you Mr. Jack. Take care bro.